Rating the OED’s newest additions to the dictionary
Did you know that hundreds of words get added to dictionaries every year? If that fact surprised you, well, buckle up, buttercup, because I just lied; in fact, hundreds of words get added to dictionaries every month! Can you imagine having an exhaustive hardback dictionary at this point? It would span volumes! In today’s article, I’m going to share some of the highlights of the newest entries into the Oxford English Dictionary and provide a rating for each word on a scale of 1-10.
Athleisure: casual clothing in which you can either work out or lounge around the house watching Netflix. I think we’re trying incredibly hard to justify wearing sweatpants as often as possible. 3/10.
Buzzer beater: a shot made right as time expires in a basketball game. Thankfully, this phrase doesn’t have to do with harming bees. I’m glad the NBA is back, and it’s finally getting the dictionary respect it deserves. 8/10.
Garbage time: another basketball term. Even the dictionary is missing sports! When a game is out of hand and the result is no longer in question, the coach will send in the least talented players on the team. The existence of garbage time is the only reason I ever got to play in middle school basketball. 7/10.
Garbageologist: a specific kind of sociologist/archaeologist who studies cultures based on their trash. One person’s trash is another person’s job. It seems like the OED really focused on garbage words for this update. 2/10.
LOL: an acronym for “laughing out loud” that originated in late 20th century AOL chat rooms and has now wormed its way into the dictionary. OMG. 1/10.
Oat milk: milk derived from oats. As if we didn’t have enough milk options already, scientists figured out how to milk female oat kernels just so hipster baristas can add another 50 cents to our latte order. 3/10.
Shero: a female hero. I’m a fan of portmanteaus (smashing two words together to make a new word), and this one’s a winner. 10/10.
Silver fox: an attractive older man, usually donning a silvery or white coif of hair. See also “George Clooney” or “Anderson Cooper.” 7/10.
Voter fraud: intentionally corrupting the voting process by illegally voting (voting multiple times, voting by dead people, voting by people not eligible to vote, etc.). See also “dismantling the U.S. Postal Service.” 0/10.
What words do you want to see in the dictionary? What words should get the boot?
Curtis Honeycutt is a syndicated humor columnist. He is the author of “Good Grammar is the Life of the Party: Tips for a Wildly Successful Life.” Find more at curtishoneycutt.com.